Proper 26 B - James 5:16 - Faked Accountability - Jim Kallam in "Risking Church"

" I joined a small group of men who met during the workweek. Brent, told us one week that his wife and two girls were doing well, but his job at a market research firm was tenuous.

But fast-forward. Now he's 30 pounds lighter, hair slicked back, living with a woman he met on the internet! Why didn't Brent tell us back then that he found his budding romance in cyberspace? We couldn't encourage him to love and good deeds because we didn't know his struggles.

After six months, I realized that, like Brent, all the men were 'playing' community. Any time one of us would try to speak about life in an honest way, the group would ignore that person. We felt like fools if we brought up a struggle, or even a joy, for that matter. They wanted to display their knowledge and acheviedments rather than express their doubts, fears or failures. One guy in the group, Ernie, siad it best: "I don't like to do things where I don't look like I have my act together."

I tried to change these superficial relationships to no avail. Eventually I told the group leader that I found participating in the group oppressive and stressful, and bowed out."

MY RESPONSE: Am I in a group that is trapped in superficial camaraderie? "

Men of Integrity; May/June 2006; Promise Keepers.